24 | September | 2008 | Tomas Halberstad

Just came back from the doctors where I had minor surgery. What? I hear you scream. Why? You also scream. Are you going to die? Your continuing to scream.
Yes. I am going to die. We all are. Humans have a mortality rate of 100%. I’m not going to day today though, at least not from what the doctor diagnosed me with, which was Abscess (if you click on the link there is a picture, mine was nothing like that, mine was maybe 20 times that size and all red, not kidding, not funny).

While showering on Saturday I felt a lump in my left armpit. Yes armpit. Stop laughing. On Monday it had grown a bit bigger. On Tuesday I couldn’t get my arm down my side (looked like I had really big abs). Today it was enormous and hurt quite a bit.

When I got to the doctors he gave me a shot then brought out the scalpell and cut me open. The puss poured out (I could get more graphic here but I wont). Then he patched me up.

I got a prescription for antibiotic, really cool lilac ones! Which he said will totally fuck up my stomach. Nice! That’s about it! Feel sorry for me… or I’ll kill you.

Pills:

You can’t combine thinking with an exact action. You can’t combine the action of now with anything. The action of now, or indeed just the now is unique, or even perhaps a unique. You can think about what you want to do, you can plan it, in detail, giving massive attention to the smallest of detail but when it comes to the now, the time to set your boat in the sea it’s all, if not futile, than an utter waste of time. The now can’t be controlled, nor should it. There’s no problem with the uncontrollable. The problem lies in always needing to have controll.

I really want to think about this for a while; why it seems as though the now is the only thing we don’t, and can’t, think about but at the same time is the only thing we really can know. Strange isn’t it?

One could argue that thinking about picking up a pen whilst picking up a pen is thinking about the now while experiencing it but is it? To me it’s two separate events without possibility to combine.

I really should be studying instead of writing stuff like this.